Apparently, and according to some of my mates working on the Scientific Oceanography Ship, The Twotanic, a rupture between the two Pacific ocean floor plates, due to hundreds of years of constant friction and tension building up, is expected sometime next Thursday. The resultant Tsunami is expected to cause widespread devastation on a global scale. Even more worrying is the prediction that the Tsunami will eventually "hit" the Solway Firth, late around Friday afternoon. Low lying areas including Motrowayswill be wiped out, with a great loss of life to so many Bank Holidaymakers being out for the Bank Holiday.... as far inland as Newcastleton. Me, I'll be orright Jack cos I'll be up behind fekkin Kielder 'bout then.