Barsteward's Perilous Porta Potty Peregrination

[Jaws]

Sorry.. just noticed mate.. it is Marbella he lives at

[T.Murphy aka Tim]

john.. recently done that trip down center west to malaga... friggin awsome stuff to ride on...
will be back to do sierra nevedas on next visit....does david have a facebook page...???

regards
aj

Yes mate.. https://www.facebook.com/davidtomsphotographer?fref=ts

Yea, you've mentioned him before over on the Dark Side John.

That profile pic of David..... fekkin Gayer than a Gay thing. I know he aint, I think anyrode, but looks are everything on the 'net)

better warn him to expect a "visit" from aj with plenty of fphfertograppoy tips

[T.Murphy aka Tim]

Sorry.. just noticed mate.. it is Marbella he lives at

For a seasoned world traveller like barsteward, that is a mere trifle...If he plots into his Shat Nav, Todmorden as his destination then as sure as I'm a cnut, he'll drive straight through Marbella.

I hope, whilst he's away, that he has thought about Security at his Todmordian Summer Residence?

[jono49]

I dont think John (Jaws) realised how irresponsible he was by pointing these pair of geographically impaired stars of IXXRA in the general direction of this bloke living an otherwise iddylic life in the south of Spain

[jono49]

Sorry.. just noticed mate.. it is Marbella he lives at

For a seasoned world traveller like barsteward, that is a mere trifle...If he plots into his Shat Nav, Todmorden as his destination then as sure as I'm a cnut, he'll drive straight through Marbella.

I hope, whilst he's away, that he has thought about Security at his Todmordian Summer Residence?

If I've heard right, there's been a series of Abductions in the Todmorden area

[Jaws]

ROFL !!!
If you go to Jaws motorcycles, there is a video on the left hand side of the index page.. That is David ( On the road mentioned above I believe ! )

We will be south of Cadiz ( Zahora is the name of the place ) by about the 18th or 19th.. catching the ferry to Calais on the 15th and its a solid three day drive with the big rig

If Sir Barsteward gets down to that neck of the woods we are on the site of Pinar San Jose.. canna miss our rig as we usually have a big yellow flag up with Jaws and Mo on it and the Andalusia one too Drinks on me !

[jono49]

FFS John do you know what you've done????? for starters when he try's to reverse into the slot next to you, the flag pole is gonna get mangled for starters! the rest doesn't bear thinking about

[T.Murphy aka Tim]

Fekk me , I never thought there could be soo much mileage in this thread ( see what I did there again)

LOL, but for fooks sakes John, do you have no concept of what you have possibly unleashed here? Poor old David had best take his cameras and bug out bag to the Australian Outback where he'll be safe until the Spanish Security forces eject aj and Barsteward from Marbella and surrounding countries. That'll be after the great mop up and rebuilding programme have been completed.

Talk about recipe for disaster ! bwahahahahahahaaha

[T.Murphy aka Tim]

Calling Barsteward, calling Barsteward.

I know that you're at the forefront of state of the art, high technology consumerism, so can you tell me owt about House Security Systems? Do you have any now that you're away in Deniborm? mate of mine has got a new fangled jobby ( no, not a Rottweiler,- they are SO yesterday), whereby he can check his home with his bloody mobile phone no less. Can even see via hidden cameras if he's got intruders? Have you got owt like that Les? Have you?

[barsteward]

Yep, their called pensioners,they reside both sides and as you are now fast approaching pension age you may well be noticing the irresistible desire to stare out the window and stick your fookin nose into every fooker else's business

Now't e'll get passed e'm better than a Rottweiler.

[barsteward]

It's got feck all to do with Age, it's comes with owning a portapotty! and I'm sure that Akuji hankers after one and one of them big american jobbies too!

Not a fookin chance, i ain't no pikey. There is no way on earth i'll be emptying out my own turds whilst on hols That's why they invented hotels

So if yer not a "pikey" what the fook are you?
The only difference between a "tramper" and a "pikey" is the Turd of the "pikey is conveniently stored overnight and then thrown away with the rest of the shite.

ie it doesn't get back behind the wheel and act like a coont

[barsteward]

Where abouts in Beni are you gonna plot up ? We have about 40 members of Motorhome Fun doted all around the place at the moment !

We are on the ferry on Wednesday.. But heading straight down to 30 miles below Cadiz for a couple of months..
Having said that there is a massive MH at the end of March at Beni so might head there for that

Hi John,
I'm on the Raco camp site, met one or two of the Funsters briefly, been doing pretty much are own thing so far.
No firm plans, playing it by ear but the temptation of free drinks for our entire stay may prove too much to resist.

[barsteward]

Right just to keep your Tenner For Men moist.

In typical Barsteward style I made the joint decision that we would visit Albir a few miles up the coast and then walk along the seafront to Altea. Around 10.00am we wandered up through the camp site and I directed Sue to the No10 bus stop ( see getting quite confident with this public transport thing)
Anyway we were stood there knowing (cos I'd done my research ) that the bus was every 15 mins so we wouldn't have to wait long. Sure enough, the bus came......and went











on the opposite side of the fookin road

Another hatchet moment

[T.Murphy aka Tim]

Where abouts in Beni are you gonna plot up ? We have about 40 members of Motorhome Fun doted all around the place at the moment !

We are on the ferry on Wednesday.. But heading straight down to 30 miles below Cadiz for a couple of months..
Having said that there is a massive MH at the end of March at Beni so might head there for that

Hi John,
I'm on the Raco camp site, met one or two of the Funsters briefly, been doing pretty much are own thing so far.
No firm plans, playing it by ear but the temptation of free drinks for our entire stay may prove too much to resist.

Shoulda been a fekkin P.M.

[Jaws]

If you bump in to any of em pass on my regards mate.. They all know me as Jaws anyway

Tip ! Avoid the piss ups with them .. It was not until we started doing the funster meets I found out I can do a litre of scotch in one night !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But if you turn up at Zahora ( where we buy scotch as £3.00 a bottle ) I will be happy to feed you until you drop !!!!

[T.Murphy aka Tim]

If you bump in to any of em pass on my regards mate.. They all know me as Jaws anyway

Tip ! Avoid the piss ups with them .. It was not until we started doing the funster meets I found out I can do a litre of scotch in one night !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But if you turn up at Zahora ( where we buy scotch as £3.00 a bottle ) I will be happy to feed you until you drop !!!!

Sorry to butt in ....BUT....no, no, and thrice NO...Do not encourage Barsteward with tales of Scotch...He fekkin likes Scotch he does.

[Akuji]

It's got feck all to do with Age, it's comes with owning a portapotty! and I'm sure that Akuji hankers after one and one of them big american jobbies too!

Not a fookin chance, i ain't no pikey. There is no way on earth i'll be emptying out my own turds whilst on hols That's why they invented hotels

So if yer not a "pikey" what the fook are you?
The only difference between a "tramper" and a "pikey" is the Turd of the "pikey is conveniently stored overnight and then thrown away with the rest of the shite.

ie it doesn't get back behind the wheel and act like a coont

erm but you do just that

[barsteward]

If you bump in to any of em pass on my regards mate.. They all know me as Jaws anyway

Tip ! Avoid the piss ups with them .. It was not until we started doing the funster meets I found out I can do a litre of scotch in one night !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But if you turn up at Zahora ( where we buy scotch as £3.00 a bottle ) I will be happy to feed you until you drop !!!!

Think I've got the message UK Bill was sporting a very nice black eye, can't imagine how it happened but I believe alcohol was involved

[barsteward]

It's got feck all to do with Age, it's comes with owning a portapotty! and I'm sure that Akuji hankers after one and one of them big american jobbies too!

Not a fookin chance, i ain't no pikey. There is no way on earth i'll be emptying out my own turds whilst on hols That's why they invented hotels

So if yer not a "pikey" what the fook are you?
The only difference between a "tramper" and a "pikey" is the Turd of the "pikey is conveniently stored overnight and then thrown away with the rest of the shite.

ie it doesn't get back behind the wheel and act like a coont

erm but you do just that

How very disappointing Akoojikoo, is that the best you can come up with seems like I need some bigger maggots

[Akuji]

It's got feck all to do with Age, it's comes with owning a portapotty! and I'm sure that Akuji hankers after one and one of them big american jobbies too!

Not a fookin chance, i ain't no pikey. There is no way on earth i'll be emptying out my own turds whilst on hols That's why they invented hotels

So if yer not a "pikey" what the fook are you?
The only difference between a "tramper" and a "pikey" is the Turd of the "pikey is conveniently stored overnight and then thrown away with the rest of the shite.

ie it doesn't get back behind the wheel and act like a coont

erm but you do just that

How very disappointing Akoojikoo, is that the best you can come up with seems like I need some bigger maggots

yeah your lass has been saying that for years

[Jaws]

Think I've got the message UK Bill was sporting a very nice black eye, can't imagine how it happened but I believe alcohol was involved

LOL !! UKBill is a real character to say the least !!!!!

[barsteward]

Yes,as Coontybolix says it's been the usual Barsteward saga
Got to Folkestone late evening, pitch black and lashing it down with rain.
Was just glad to get parked up on the sea front and get my head down, parking up up a few yards beyond what at night looked like a derelict building near docklands.

I was awoken around midnight with car doors banging young'uns shouting and very load constant Boom! boom! Boom in the background, opened the blinds to see the derelict building was a fookin disco on a Friday and Saturday night which continued until after 4.00am. Needless to say by this time I was not "flavour of the day" with Sue to top that off whilst walking the dog the next morning around 10am I was suddenly hit by the fact the cheap, peaceful nights wild camping was about to cost me £8.00 in parking charges cos I was parked right underneath their fookin camara.

Daylight


Viiew from cab window



You couldn't make it up......could yer

Any way, nice sunshine when we got to the tunnel and everything went without a hitch, 35 mins later drove off the train in Calais and decided to make for the Aire on the docks about 15 mins away. It was by now dark and began raining, the wind was also getting up a bit... Buy the time we got to the Aire I swear it was as fookin Hurracain! The rain lashed it down all night and the pottie was being buffeted about like a rocking horse.

Calais around midnight after the worst of the rain.



After another sleepless night the atmosphere could have been cut by a knife as we set off for Rouen at 6.30am. In my wisdom I had set the satnav to avoid toll roads and after about 60 miles the sun came out and the ice and snow on the winding French country roads was beginning to melt Sue was so relieved she actually extracted the hatched she had embedded in my cranium earlier in the morning. :mFrgreen:

Day break on the 28th


I will continue the travelsaga later (stick around cos things do get better) I am having to do this on my Ipone which is a ball ache, the reason being my laptop is still being repaired in a benidorm shop I had loaded the laptop with all the info etc that I needed for the journey.
In true Barsteward style I left it on charge Christmas Eve to ensure it was fully charged for Boxing Day departure and promptly went out to celebrate Christmas with some friends....... Can any one guess "What Happens Next"


Yes!!! Yes!!!... You guessed on my return (pissed) I tripped over the wire which pulled the laptop off the table as the cable tangled around my ankle it threw me off balance and I trod on the screen.

Anyone want to ride with me in the summer.


Laptop repaired and decent internet conection for the moment so will continue shortly