IXXRA......The Home Of The Superblackbird

yes folks, hot off the press and straight from the horse's mouth sorta thing.

You'll be pleased to know that Barsteward and his very patient carer is happily ensconced in that exotic far away land that is Benidorm. He is finding it difficult to adapt to the local tastes , but with John Smith's Magnet at 84 pence a pint, he's prepared to give it a go.

His night stop at Felixstowe didn't quite go as planned....the derelict, quiet building they "wild parked" outside, turned into a fekkin very loud disco' at 12.30 a.m. !



keep us posted Les...this is better than any Trans American Trail or Alaska to Tierra del Fuego trip report over on the Adventure Bike Riders Forum.

All I can say is..

cracking

Oooo Benidorm, he'll be able to meet up with some other members of the Middlesbrough swingers society. Probably getting withdrawal symptoms from the Sheffield branch

Bahawhahahahahahahahaha class

you couldnt make it up could ya

If the script writers new about this they would snap it up and write it into the series

Episode 3, Les meets Madge by the pool to go for a rideout

Oldbull wrote:
Episode 3, Les meets Madge by the pool to go for a rideout

Awww fook, I've just pissed messen....

( bet Les'd get the wrong fekkin pool )

T.Murphy wrote:

Oldbull wrote:
Episode 3, Les meets Madge by the pool to go for a rideout

Awww fook, I've just pissed messen....

( bet Les'd get the wrong fekkin pool )

Well if it was your Gene pool he'd be up shit creek

Just heard Barsteward has been booked to do 3 months as headline act at the Hotel Solano ( madge put a good word in for him ) I'm sure his stage act will go down a bomb !

Erm is that 'Sticky Stoolie'

Yes,as Coontybolix says it's been the usual Barsteward saga
Got to Folkestone late evening, pitch black and lashing it down with rain.
Was just glad to get parked up on the sea front and get my head down, parking up up a few yards beyond what at night looked like a derelict building near docklands.

I was awoken around midnight with car doors banging young'uns shouting and very load constant Boom! boom! Boom in the background, opened the blinds to see the derelict building was a fookin disco on a Friday and Saturday night which continued until after 4.00am. Needless to say by this time I was not "flavour of the day" with Sue to top that off whilst walking the dog the next morning around 10am I was suddenly hit by the fact the cheap, peaceful nights wild camping was about to cost me £8.00 in parking charges cos I was parked right underneath their fookin camara.

Daylight


Viiew from cab window



You couldn't make it up......could yer

Any way, nice sunshine when we got to the tunnel and everything went without a hitch, 35 mins later drove off the train in Calais and decided to make for the Aire on the docks about 15 mins away. It was by now dark and began raining, the wind was also getting up a bit... Buy the time we got to the Aire I swear it was as fookin Hurracain! The rain lashed it down all night and the pottie was being buffeted about like a rocking horse.

Calais around midnight after the worst of the rain.



After another sleepless night the atmosphere could have been cut by a knife as we set off for Rouen at 6.30am. In my wisdom I had set the satnav to avoid toll roads and after about 60 miles the sun came out and the ice and snow on the winding French country roads was beginning to melt Sue was so relieved she actually extracted the hatched she had embedded in my cranium earlier in the morning. :mFrgreen:

Day break on the 28th


I will continue the travelsaga later (stick around cos things do get better) I am having to do this on my Ipone which is a ball ache, the reason being my laptop is still being repaired in a benidorm shop I had loaded the laptop with all the info etc that I needed for the journey.
In true Barsteward style I left it on charge Christmas Eve to ensure it was fully charged for Boxing Day departure and promptly went out to celebrate Christmas with some friends....... Can any one guess "What Happens Next"


Yes!!! Yes!!!... You guessed on my return (pissed) I tripped over the wire which pulled the laptop off the table as the cable tangled around my ankle it threw me off balance and I trod on the screen.

Anyone want to ride with me in the summer.


Laptop repaired and decent internet conection for the moment so will continue shortly

Oh fook how many Tenna moments can ya have in one thread Les yer a fookin star! Bawhahahahahahah

Les, I've just wet my pants as well. Pure treasure.

Don't forget, a travel post is nothing without pics, and if you can sneak in a crafty one with a tractor, so much the better. And if you could get a photo of Milfs plus tractor, I'd be wetting my pants in a different way

Keep it cummin'

Chris

Awww fook me Betty...I just did a big fart and a small wee at the same time as I laughed out loud mid story.

You complete arsehole...I just don't know how ya do it.

Bwahahahahaha....

With the speed of this internet I'll be back a month before the story gets to you all..... Stock up on clean underware cos it dosen't end there infact I'm thinking of writing a full episode of Benidorm.

Xtreamist, went to the Three Kings parade in Old Benidorm on Wednesday fookin brilliant Tractors, trailers and more milf's than you could shake a stick at. Will post pictures as soon as I get a decent connection hold on to yer Balls mate

.

yeh yeh... it's an age thingee stoolie.... you have many more potty moments to come..
and.... yer not alone.. and some of these coooots aint far behind...

but.... have you found any riding routs yet..in't mountains...

reagrds
aj

It's got feck all to do with Age, it's comes with owning a portapotty! and I'm sure that Akuji hankers after one and one of them big american jobbies too!

jono49 wrote:It's got feck all to do with Age, it's comes with owning a portapotty! and I'm sure that Akuji hankers after one and one of them big american jobbies too!

Not a fookin chance, i ain't no pikey. There is no way on earth i'll be emptying out my own turds whilst on hols That's why they invented hotels

Where abouts in Beni are you gonna plot up ? We have about 40 members of Motorhome Fun doted all around the place at the moment !

We are on the ferry on Wednesday.. But heading straight down to 30 miles below Cadiz for a couple of months..
Having said that there is a massive MH at the end of March at Beni so might head there for that

jono49 wrote:It's got feck all to do with Age, it's comes with owning a portapotty! and I'm sure that Akuji hankers after one and one of them big american jobbies too!

how the fek would you know... yer not old enough...

jaws wrote:But heading straight down to 30 miles below Cadiz for a couple of months..

enjoy john.... let me know about the riding potential.... tar...

regards
aj

Ive been on and around the Hills and mountains to the rear of Benidorm and they are fantastic empty biking roads with stunning scenery ... unfortunately I was in the fergin cage... About 20 mile inland and they start .. cant remember what they are called
The amount of times I/we have been there back in the day and didnt even know they were there until we toured the area the other year .. Ill see if i can find a few foties

https://www.google.co.uk/maps/place/Puigcampana+y+el+Ponotx/@38.605653,-0.172911,2a,90y,90t/data=!3m5!1e2!3m3!1s15892800!2e1!3e10!4m2!3m1!1s0x0000000000000000:0xe3cfeceb8fea1df7!6m1!1e1?hl=en

.


spain is the 2nd most moutainous country in europe....going back... no doubt....unbelievable...


regards
aj

aj wrote:
enjoy john.... let me know about the riding potential.... tar...

regards
aj

Not great mate.. Been down there every winter for the past 5 years and apart from one or two roads I would not bother.
The road surface is not great and tends to get sort of polished making it feckin slippery
The place is CRAWLING with plod who are on the look out for drug dealers coming over from Morocco
The roads are either pretty straight or so nadgery and pot holed they aint worth riding

BUT !!
On the east coast of Andalucia there are some fantastic roads.. Almost anywhere from Almunecar down to past Estepona
In fact there is a chap who earns his crust as a photographer that rides a Bird ( VERY quickly ! ) who lives in Marbella area
If you are thinking of going that way I could put you in touch with David

Jaws wrote:
BUT !!
On the east coast of Andalucia there are some fantastic roads.. Almost anywhere from Almunecar down to past Estepona


In fact there is a chap who earns his crust as a photographer that rides a Bird ( VERY quickly ! ) who lives in Malaga area
If you are thinking of going that way I could put you in touch with David

john.. recently done that trip down center west to malaga... friggin awsome stuff to ride on...
will be back to do sierra nevedas on next visit....does david have a facebook page...???

regards
aj

Fekk me Betty Barsteward, now we got the Porta Potty Presidential Perambulating Patriarch proferring practical perspicacity . ( see what I did there?)

I think we may have to create a Port Potty Partition for you "lot"

(yes, yes, Coggy, we're working on a Train Section too )

I'm sure aj is right when he says we'll all get to this stage with age. At the moment, the idea of it all is totally abhorrent to me and as that bloke from the Who once said.."hope I die before I get old".

However......... , as I am now getting to the old stage I don't just wanna die yet, I must admit that seeing a pic of Barsteward's Porta Potty, it all looks rather appealing in a perverse sorta way. Don't fancy the driving bit..I just fekkin hate driving full stop Riding, well we all know that's a different kettle of fish. But a lot of plusses too. ya can't just pull to the side when ya out on the 'Bird and have a wank now can you?

Best of both worlds to me is knowing someone who has a Porta Potty. Now, THAT is fekkin cool.

aj wrote: john.. recently done that trip down center west to malaga... friggin awsome stuff to ride on...
will be back to do sierra nevedas on next visit....does david have a facebook page...???

regards
aj

Yes mate.. https://www.facebook.com/davidtomsphotographer?fref=ts