Conquer or conker??

[Demontat]

Right than... it's well known that Brits lose at everything. From soccer to rugby to cricket and so on... yet I recently heard of something y'all are quite successful at since no one else is drunk or bored enough to play.

Not sure of the spelling, conker or conquer or ??.... needless to say I understand that the object is to hold a nut dangling from a cord at arms length while your opponent swings his dangling nut at it in an attempt to destroy your nut?

I wonder if any of you are involved in this "sport"... I know Taz gets his nuts out at the drop of a dime, Wobbly no doubt is quite good since he has nuts of brass and BusAndy probably dont play since he clearly only has one nut!!

[TazCBR1100XX]

It's Conkers and yes, I think we all played it when we were young, but if you think it's a game for wusses, try it and see how long yer hands last before the pain becomes unbearable as your opponents nuts whack yer knuckles again and again cuz he's a useless twat without any fookin hand/eye co-ordination Therez different methods of making the Conkers better, but this is defo a case of 'the smaller the better' cuz they're usually harder to hit, and generally stronger cuz they don't have mush inside 'em. Do you want me to send you some over so you can play with your nuts in public Apparently there's a shortage, but a friend of mine has 3 massive conker trees in her garden and is giving me a bagful to play with

[jonah]

AND WHAT ARE YANKS SUCCESSFUL AT EXCEPT GROWING BIG HEADS

[Demontat]

AND WHAT ARE YANKS SUCCESSFUL AT EXCEPT GROWING BIG HEADS

Easy there tiger! Opening up that can of worms might also open a can of whoop-ass!!!

[bov]

Apparently there's a shortage, but a friend of mine has 3 massive conker trees in her garden and is giving me a bagful to play with

I know where they all are Taz. On the one fookin' back road I have to use on my route to work! Bastids!!

[Ladybird]

Wobbly no doubt is quite good

Well I can tell you demon Wobbs was seen to be collecting "conkers" in Holland - and yep I understand he does still string the odd one up. Infact Taz if you can hang on to some, perhaps next year, if/when demon comes over you could show him how it goes?

[Chrixx]

When I was i "Nipper" in school, about 50 years ago, (Currently 61 + VAT), we would try various treatments to conkers to increase the toughness and durability. Baking in mum's oven, pickling in vinegar, salt water, etc were tried all with various exaggerated claims of success.
Pickling did give a nice hard, tough, leatherlike casing when they had dried out.

Much of the success of the champion conkers was due to the preparation. Some kids would bore the hole through using a meat scewer. this would result in producing small cracks intenally and in the casing. I was lucky as my dad had a worshop and I could use a small drill and radius the edges of the hole to reduce fatigue cracks. (This acquired knowledge and technology paid of in later life for tuning bikes, etc.)

Boot laces were always better than string and the old leather ones were the best of all as they were kinder on your fingers. although sometimes harder to thread through the holes

Some guys "cheated". If they had a high scoring conker that was getting a bit tatty, they would carefully crush it against a fresh one and effectively trasfer the accumulated score over.

Chrixx - BSc Conkers, COD, SOB, SAE, etc

[Chrixx]

Aha, just found it

Demontat, if you go to:

http://web.ukonline.co.uk/conker/archive/conkers.htm

You will find the true story.

Note: The British citizens and UK government accept no liability for damages to players, bystanders, third parties, whether fatal or otherwise or to property, during the game of conkers. Those caught "scrumping" conkers from unauthorized locations will be prosecuted by the owners of the trees.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!