Southern Poofta's

[BirdAddict]

Minus 50 degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole - people in the North put on their hat an scarfs

Last time I fookin looked at an atlas, the NORTH POLE was still in the north, So are you calling Santa a POOFTAH ????
He knows when you've been naughty so no prezzies for you this year.

And the only reason us southerners remark on the cold is so it gives us a chance to snuggle up to the opposite sex or maybe the (welshmen).

[Chrixx]

Is it true that the Southeners are too posh to wear wellies :?

They have to sew Velcro on the front of their trousers to"accommodate" the .

Chrixx (from Hampshire when I am at home)

[XXAndy]

[Ladybird]

people in the North sunbathe

Thursday morning, frosty, deano and I share a lift to work, no way am I taking the Bird. On route we see a postman in shorts and t-shirt, mind his legs were that ruby red, scorched with cold colour !

[TazCBR1100XX]

What abart the fookin Bennys in the Falklands :? Got down there in February to offload a wad of Pongos (apparently the middle of summer down there ), sat there freezing my titz off after the sunnier climes of Ascension Island, and therez these fookin locals walking around with fookin shorts n T shirts on while I'm in full winter clothing and yer standard Pusser issue foul weather gear Mind you, they still wore those fookin stoopid Benny hats (for those of you too young to know what a Benny hat is - i.e. Badgers Cub - ask yer Dad

[Gizzit]

Not allowed to call em Bennys any more

They are now called Stills! (Still Bennys )

[Ladybird]

Ah now - up north in the UK (namely Hartlepool) they call 'em DUTTS

[darkangel]

now if that "monkey" had been wearin one they wouldnt have "hung" it now would they? would have looked like evryone else!

[XXAndy]

Funniest thing I saw in the Falklands was teams of 'squadies' on Penguin standing up duty (the penguins fall over looking at the jet fighters in the sky and cant stand up again )
Oh, and when hunting for mines, forget all the technical gear, simply release a few dozen penguins into the suspect field/beach and, hey presto exploding penguins

[TazCBR1100XX]

Funniest thing I saw happened when one of the crabs married a local on the Island. Our ship was anchored just outside the harbour and Pusser was running a liberty boat. Anyway, being the gents we all were, it was a case of Ladies First up the rope ladder onto the ship - and the poor old crab was stood at the bottom having a right old eppy cuz everyone was skegging up her dress all the way up the ladder

[Gizzit]

I was down there about 20 years ago and just remember it being a bleak and miserable place. The only thing that made me laugh during my 6 month trip was when one silly bugger off my ship got shitfaced on the local penguin ale and went for a swim off the jetty in Stanly. Silly sod got hyperthermia and had to be warmed up in the skippers bath tub

Oh, and our stupid helecopter pilot took off with no IFF once and got locked on by the Rapier site. Fookin panic.... he nearly crapped himself

[TazCBR1100XX]

I went onboard Minerva for dinner in the wardroom, got shitfaced, woke up in the Chaplins cabin (he was on leave thankfully ), went up top to find myself in San Carlos water, blowing a fookin gale, got put ashore to catch a helicopter from Kelly's Garden, fookin choppers were grounded so had to hang around there for a few hours, hitched a lift on a Wessex carrying mail back to Stanley, then hitched another lift in the back of a fookin Army landrover, got to the jetty and the fookin RN wouldn't put to sea to take us out the the ship, spent the night in Emmas Guest House just off the jetty (that Bus like ugly Pink thing), MOD had to contract a fookin tug to take us back to the ship cuz our own navy were scared of the waves , eventually got back onboard still dressed in number ones after the dinner bash, but fortunately a merchant ship has to have the full compliment of Radio Officers onboard before she can sail, so they had to wait cuz my oppo was stranded in Stanley too I looked more like I'd just done a fookin tour of the Sahara instead of going to dinner

[Gizzit]

Bleak, fookin miserable, wet, windy and cold



The Bennys are fookin to it I say!

[TazCBR1100XX]

They're to the fookin mutton burgers too