Open season on US haggis hunters
By Alan Hamilton(The Times)
One quarter of all American visitors to Scotland come in the belief that they will be able to go on a haggis hunt.
They are, however, not quite certain what the beast looks like. In a survey of 1,000 US tourists, conducted by a West Lothian-based processor and packager of haggis meat, one respondent thought a haggis was a wild Highland nocturnal creature no bigger than a grouse. Another said it resembled a fox. One fifth of those questioned believed Scotland to be an English county, that all Glaswegians spoke Gaelic, and that William Wallace, the 13th-century freedom fighter depicted by Mel Gibson in Braveheart was a handsome man."
But then apparently lots of English people thought Florida was in California when asked to point it out on a map...
I believe it is the responsibility of all on here to educate THE MAN so he becomes fully conversant with the British way of life.
Taking the above for example everyone knows that a haggis is two legged with one leg shorter than the other enabling it to run around the sides of steep hills and mountains and the way to catch them is to scare them into trying to run the other way round thereby losing balance and tumbling to the bottom.
So people anything else he needs to know apart from don't tell a female she has a nice fanny, you might get away with its meaning in the USA but its liable to get you a kick between the legs over here.
And you don't get beans in a bean bag :? I'm fookin glad I got balls in my ball bag though 
bash if you can make it 