"....and set off at 04.30.....Oop North....as I said , no fookin about , straight up the M1 to Scotch Corner for one of the Services Special Super Duper £1.75 
coffee.... 
....and then across the errr, y'know, the road to Penrith....very foggy/low cloud and it got worse as I went over, err, is it Bowe Moors(?)...well up ther anyway.....lots of lorry traffic at this time of morning, but as I dropped down towards Brough visibilty cleared and the Sun started to shine !!!. Turned off at Brough and called in to see a few mates. 
Stop to pose in front of Brough Village clock
and then headed up and over to Middleton-on-Tees. This road is bloody excellent and I did not see one vehicle at all......hit a few patches of mist but by now the Sun was burning it all up and the scenery was glorious..Just pulled in on the drop down to Middleton for this one....
From Middleton up to Alston is just out of this world for roads and breathtaking scenery....fast , gentle twisties all the way...cracking...Oh yes, by this time (7.30) the traffic had started to build up. I passed one farmer in his pickup !!!! never mind...I can live with that.
.
I arrive at Hartside Cafe at 8 o'clock and I'm back up in the clouds. It's also windy, the mist is wet and I'm fookin cold....never mind, I think, I'll soon warm up with a nice pot of hot tea
....but the fookin cafe is closed...( as already highlighted by a coont in another thread )
nowt on the door to say what time it opens either....and no fookin view !!!!
So I sits and twiddle my thumbs, text one or two peeps. Then I try a cat nap on one of the picnic benches....pull my jacket over my head and just dropping off when the mist gets up my exposed back
and wakes me up !!.
At about 8.30 the cloud just evaporates and the views are just amazing....The Lakes over to my left and the Solway Firth and Scotland over in front...awesome.
Have a chat to a retired bloke who's up here from Wiltshire.....cycling
, by which time the Cafe is open and I get my sustenance.....
Get a text off Chuff telling me I should have contacted Shadrack as he's on his days off.
"Too late" I think, and anyways I must be heading back as I don't want to be out in the Mid-day sun.....that's only for Mad Dogs and Englishmen 
So, refreshed, I set my Garmin to take me to Hawes and off I go down Hartside Pass towards Penrith....what a bloody road...half way down I see a bike tramming up towards me....closer he gets..."It's a Bird".....closer still..."It's a Blue Bird".......passes as I flash him "
" That looks like Shadrack".....but he's gone......Turned round and set off back up to the cafe.....well if it int him it's a fookin good excuse to ride back up.
Jeez what a road !!
...either way, it's just fabulous.
I get to the Cafe again....and the feckers start closing up again !!!!
...only joking...Pulls into the car park...up along side a Blue Bird...with a funny looking bloke stood next to it
" Mornin' Shadrack"....." Fookin 'ell it's you yannah" ( Wookies talk funny don't they...
)
So we have another drink and then head to Devils Bridge....back down to Middleton and then over to Brough. What a run....some testing roads up there for sure. We get to Kirkby Stephen which is where we part, Shadrack to Kirkby Lonsdale and me down to Haews...down a beautiful valley i've never been down before....the Settle Carlisle Railway comes up this valley. It is so quiet and peaceful, I had to keep stopping to take in the views and the silence. The surrounding peaks are a sight to behold.
Into Hawes to the Cafe for a snotty egg and bacon sarnie....lovely...but by now it's mid-day and fookin hot. met a couple from Hull on a XJR 1300....they had resorted to jeans
...relayed the story of Wallace and Grommet without , I hope , boring the shit out of them....and wished them well.....as I set off up to Ribblesdale....another good run up the valley and over to the Viaduct.
.....the heat was getting too much, so after a quick photoshoot it was onwards and downwards to Settle and then Skipton.....It was now 2.00 p.m. and I was seriously flagging and in discomfort from the heat. So I pulled in at a Little Thief at a roundabout,
bed a coke, roled up my jacket and had a Power Nap on the grass under a tree....until about 3.15...when my fookin snoring woke me up
Great, I'd got my second wind and now I had to get home.....quick...so I set my Garmin up for fastest home route,...... and stuck to it...and "fook me Betty"...she took me all the way home with not one single " Oi bastid...yer off route".....
Got home for 6.00 totally fooked ...but what a ride... 
